Love isn’t an equation, so what’s the problem?
Can you help solve a mystery?
∞ Love ∞
I wish to love and not hold back. Love from the minute eyes interlock. Love enough to last many life times. And trust. Trust feelings are mutual…*Well, at least until I get bored.
This is my starting hypothesis.
< or > ?
In pretty much all my previous relationships, there’s been an unbalance in the amount of love exchanged. In my teens, I was the one who was the most attached. Originally it felt fine but complexity rose when I experienced my 1st one-sided break-up.
In between ()
To solve it, I spent a decade drifting away from my origin, dating guys who cared more. I put my heart in a safe and became an atheist. Not sure they related but maybe one translated into the other.
Then something ≠ happened
I met a boy quite unique. Maybe it was an optical illusion but the affection we had for each other seemed of the same force. For half a year, our love kept growing exponentially.
Until one day, limx→a
I left the country for a function and after a gradient of tears, somehow we didn’t belong to each other anymore. 𝝅-ty. Nonetheless, the power of our connection had opened up my heart again.
∇
Since, single me tried to find the right combination, but only experienced permutations of the same variable. Emotionally distant men mat(c)hing up with clingy me. So derivative.
1+1+1+1 =
I know, ‘When it comes to love, you don’t count’… But 4 times getting dumped in a row are far more times ××× than I consented to being hurt.
∉ Dating no more
Subsequently, I gave myself a break from dating. Or so I lied — to others and myself — & just kept hooking up with the last guy [whenever he had time for me]… Until he went radical and stopped our encounters ∄∄∄.
√shelter please
Tired of suffering, I picked Somεonε εlse. Somεonε too much o∭… and not enough o∭... Somεonε I had limitεd intεrεst in. But, Somεonε into me.
And now: Ω
When feeling lonely/scared/hurt (select the appropriate statement), I call him. Yet, the minute I’m with him, I wonder why I can’t be with someone better.
What’s wrong with me? Did I make a mistake in my early reasoning? Is this just another lesson I must learn? If so, what should I do…
X = Solution?
- Accept his love fully to vibrate at this frequency. Feel the warmth in my heart. Use it to heal and repair the concavities left by past experiences.
- Brainwash myself to see his most beautiful qualities and fall in love with him.
- Consider the lack of reciprocity a non-issue. Enjoy the company for now.
- Drop him dead. Wishing him the best of luck and moving on at the speed of light.
Zzz*
If only I had a book with all the right answers. Too bad I don’t. Maybe I should just copy you? Would you share your cheat sheets as comments?
⇒ I need tutoring. I don’t wanna fail this year again. HELP!